Assalamu’alaikum! My name is Nurul Ayuni Rosli and I’m turning 18 years old this year from Singapore. I came across one of your posts in @houseofjilbab ‘s Instagram Story regarding the search for stories of how a sister starts wearing jilbab. I thought that it would be interesting if I shared mine.
Before I started practicing and learning about Islam sincerely, my life was completely the opposite. There was no source of light in my life as I had totally forgotten about my religion and Allah. I am too embarrassed to share my past life because it was full of sin. Alhamdulillah as worse things could have happen to me but Allah saved me just at the right time.
On one night, my eyes were closed and I was waiting to fall asleep. Out of the blue, I was thinking about how death would be like. I was thinking so intensely that I immediately opened my eyes and started crying. As I was thinking harder about the pain, life while being six-feet under and Hell, I cried even more. I felt like I was going crazy because all I was thinking about was “what if I die in the next second, and then the next and the next…?”. I searched for tutorial books on How to Pray and Reciting The Quran for Kids and Students and tried calming myself down whole reading them.
I realised I couldn’t understand and I couldn’t read Arabic letters. It took more than an hour of sobbing and crying for me to realise that I must do something to save myself in this life and the next. Few days later, I asked my mother if she could send me to religious classes so I could learn how to read the Quran again. She allowed and sent me to a religious class I used to study at between 7 and 11 years old. My other thought was to ask my mother if she could buy me some shawls so I could start wearing them for tertiary education.
At this moment my mother was too overwhelmed at the drastic changes happening to me as I repeatedly asked her to buy me a few shawls. She just couldn’t afford so she told my cousin about this. Days later, my family visited my maternal grandparents’ home where my cousin was staying. My cousin, aged 28 at that time, and I were talking about everything I’ve experienced that one night. When my mother decided that we should go home, my cousin gave me some shawls of hers for me to start with.
It was difficult for me to convince my mother to let me wear one as everything happened so fast and she felt like I need a break. I managed to display my sincerity to start wearing hijab for the sake of Allah. I’ve never regretted my decision. That was how my new journey began as a Muslimah began.
I apologise for the essay I’ve typed in to share. Thank you for taking your time to read this sister(s). I hope this would be beneficial for any reason(s) you have in wanting stories as you have requested. May Allah bless you for House of Jilbab.
Nurul Ayuni Rosli